Why are birthday's good for you?

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda. I had to fast-forward through the boring bit at the beginning. She said I ruined her birthday. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site. To find out more see our. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.

2. I said “no, I’ll just turn the lights off.”, “Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle, The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.

The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box… Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners- ... Birthday Jokes (83) Birthday Jokes for kids (72) Birthday Quotes (4) Blonde Jokes (154) … I didn't even know it was her birthday.

Q: What goes up and never comes down?

Dirty Jokes Funny One-Liners Cheesy Jokes Funny Pick Up Lines. Let’s play carpenter. You should have seen his face light up when he opened it. I saw a dildo the other day described as “nine inches long and realistic”. My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. Absolutely hillarious age one-liners! To find out more see our. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me. Because you just gave me a raise. Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles.". The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Sex on TV can’t hurt… unless you fall off. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box… Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-, Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Wife (Updated), Happy New Year Greetings, Status, Wishes , Messages. Luckily my boss suggested we just wipe the slate clean.

I’m sorry, but if Christmas is coming – so am I.” – Sarah Millican, “One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns, We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot. 1. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Personally, I think it’s b***ocks.” – Billy Connolly, The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. Absolutely hillarious Halloween one-liners! He was blown away.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. “My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex.

Cuz I’m gonna tan ya ass. She said, “Depends what’s in it for me.”. I got the bike.” – Jimmy Carr. Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? I'm not sure how. Is your name Tanya? Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”. Absolutely hillarious birthday one-liners! We stop somewhere between ’68 and ’70, “Not all sexual experiences have to be filled with anger.

All sorted from the best by our visitors.

It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck. Enjoy. I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.

Masturbation always leads to sex. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord. But men can fake a whole relationship. Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."

His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually. Do you want to come to my time machine?

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. “I went to the zoo to watch the monkeys w***ing.

Then I went to watch the crocodiles. Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.

“Not a problem,” he replies. Cause I got the STD and all I need is U. I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she’s just going to scream and run out of the park. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. Do you know a funny one liner? A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms.

Why men's voice is louder than women?

I bought a box of condoms earlier today. ... I’m not one to blow my own trumpet. Dirty One Liners.

I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you. Puns And One Liners. See TOP 10 Halloween one liners.

Do you know a funny one liner? The cashier asked if I’d like a bag. "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?". “Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”. “I lost my virginity under a bridge.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”. After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.

First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

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